Episode 1 | Quitting is for Everyone

Summary

Vanessa & Holland introduce Ask Your Work Wife, a new podcast for ambitious, career-oriented women who want more out of corporate America.

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Transcript

Vanessa: There's something happening in America right now that we need to talk about. In April, 6 million people quit their job. April, 2021. Already, 8 million since January have quit their job. There's an anticipated another 4 million going to quit their job in the next month or so. That's what's happening right now. It's wild. I cannot tell you how many times I get this question, you get this question: "Oh my God, I want to leave my job." 

Holland: This question is in the air. 

Vanessa: Yeah. So, that's what I wanna talk about today. I wanna talk about quitting, and that quitting is for everyone. 

Vanessa: You and I have both quit before. You have one specific story in mind that I think everyone needs to hear. Start at the top. 

Holland: It was February, 2019 and I loved my job. I loved my job. I loved the people. I had started something, like, from scratch and we were so proud of what we'd done. And we came to work every day, and it just felt good and I was good at it, and I had learned a lot and we were, we were moving in the right direction, you know. Great work-life balance, very flexible. My manager, the owner, truly understood what family meant, which was really important to me, too, and… I loved it. I just loved it so much. And then to realize that I wasn't actually making enough money, and I swear this, like… it wasn't poverty line, but... 

Vanessa: Pretty damn close? 

Holland: It was… it wasn't great, and it wasn't sustainable. And this was the first time in my adult life that I had ever taken a look at my finances in this way, and it was scary. It was terrifying to be like, "Oh shit, I spend more than I make." And I didn't spend all that much!

Vanessa: As an actual functioning minimalist, you didn't spend that much. 

Holland: Thank you. 

Vanessa: I can validate that. 

Holland: Yeah, and so it was terrifying for that reason because I was like, "I don't, I don't know what to do because I already am not spending any money." Then, I also don't know what to do because I don't actually know what I want to do in my life with my job. I didn't know what I wanted to do. And then I hadn't applied for a job in years, if you don't count teaching spin at the local gym... It doesn't count. 

Vanessa: No... that’s, like, do you have any active arrest warrants? That's all they really need to know, but It doesn't require any skill..

Holland: It’s a pretty low bar... Yeah, yeah. And, and, and during this part, like during this realization period, I was trying to think of like the last time I had made a resume.

Vanessa: Did you even have a resume in 2019? 

Holland: It had a lot of musical performances on it. 

Vanessa: So, no. You had an academic CV. Got it. For somebody in like academic music, which is like, like two Venn diagrams smaller than anyone ever needs. 

Holland: I was following my heart, okay? 

Vanessa: Okay, Holland. 

Holland: So the point is I didn't have a resume.

Vanessa: All right, got it. Next. 

Holland: Okay, I wasn't making enough money. I didn't know what I wanted to do, and I didn't know how to get a new job. So, I don't know, like, I didn't know. And I had this kind of like, "Oh, shit" moment. "I need a career." 

Vanessa: I had the same "oh, shit" moment. Let's see. When, so this is 2016. I was 29. I was up the mountains in Utah, working at a resort. And it was kind of an all-purpose job, so in the mornings we'd clean out like hotel rooms from people the night before, there was like a little gift shop, little ski shop, there was a kitchen we'd host events at, so I got to like, start in doing the dishes. And then when the executive chef realized I knew what I was doing, he pulled me out and started training me as a sous chef. Like, it was kind of an all purpose thing. But I was making $9,000 a year. When I did my taxes that year? $9,000. That is the poverty line, according to the IRS. FYI. 

So I had the same "oh shit” moment you did. The only difference between us though is I had started and quit and lost a shit ton of jobs before that.

Vanessa: One Of my friends was like, "You've done so much shit in your life, you should actually take a list of, like, everything you've done in the last decade." So I did, there's like a cute little group of 14-year-olds going out at night-skiing, so I sent them on their way. I took out a really, really long piece of receipt tape and started listing out the things that I had done in my twenties.

Holland: I would like to know what was on the list. 

Vanessa: I managed a group of DJs. We were the house DJs at Tau in the Venetian, um, for several summers. I wrote white papers for a startup in Utah. I was a missionary in Taiwan. When I came home from that, I got a job as a compliance director, so I was actually a certified subject matter expert in firearms law. So if you ever need to know anything about that, I've done that. I worked at Home Depot as a lumber cashier. I was a sous chef. I coached the winner of Miss Idaho to her interview. Um...

Holland: You did cleaning on campus.

Vanessa: Oh, yes. So I was part of Lou's Loo Crew in the library, so from nine to midnight, we kind of cleaned the library and kind of just fucked around, which was very fun. It was amazing. 

Holland: That does sound great. 

Vanessa: Yeah. So, sitting there, top of the mountain, making this big-ass list of like stuff that I'd done, I realized, like, "I'm going to be 30. That's a whole decade of fucking around, and not really finding out." I had an "oh, shit" moment then, that I was like, "I need to do something different. I need to accomplish something for myself. I don't need just a job. I need a career." 

Holland: We've been in that place where we've said to ourselves, "Oh, shit. It's time to start something for real this time."

Vanessa: And I think, after 2020, I think there are 8 million people who are in the same place of like, "I've had a whole year of doing the same thing I've been doing. Do I want to keep doing that?”

Holland: "Is this really what I want?" 

Vanessa: Yeah. "Do I wanna do that for another year? Do I wanna do that for another five years?" Like everyone that I know at every single stage of their career is having this question, "Is this really what I want?" The answer's turning out to be no.

Vanessa: It turns out quitting is for everyone. 

Holland: But there's a right way to do it, and there's a wrong way.

Vanessa: Oh, God, I've done them both. 

Holland: The wrong way is in a blaze of glory.

Vanessa: You just quit, you pulled the plug, you said, "Fuck it, I'm out." These are the people that end up with a little #opentowork sticker on their LinkedIn. 

Holland: And then you wrote four paragraphs about it on LinkedIn and hope you're going to get a job out of it?!

Vanessa: If you're uploading your PDF resume to LinkedIn, you're doing it wrong. 

Holland: Okay. Blaze of glory, not, not, the recommended route. 

Vanessa: Also, I've done it. It's not pretty. 

Holland: The second way is a methodical approach... and that's what we're going to recommend.

Holland: When I had my "oh shit" moment, it was nine months between that realization that I needed a career and signing an offer letter. Now nine months is a long time, but guess what? I was employed, I was making money, still had my job. You know what I did during that time? Doubled the monthly revenue. 

Vanessa: Yes.

Holland: And then I left. By the time that I quit, everything was wrapped up. Everything was tidy. I had a lot of growth to show for it. 

Vanessa: And there's more and more research coming out that jumping jobs — so staying in a job for two years and then jumping — will equate to massive jumps in your salary. But that depends on you doing it right. I went from 30, making $9,000 a year, to 34 being well above the happiness threshold, through a series of really strategic, like, jobs, and then quitting those jobs. You can't just say, "Fuck it," and then hope LinkedIn's going to catch you when you fall. That's not how that works. 

Holland: Intentionality, direction, be methodical. That's what we want for 8 million people quitting their jobs. Another four? Is that what you said? Another 4 million quitting your jobs? 

Vanessa: Anticipated by September. 

Vanessa: If you're one of these 12 million people, our point is you don't have to have an "oh, shit" moment. You can quit. It doesn't have to be terrifying. It doesn't mean it's easy, but we're here to tell you that there are ways to do this, that make it strategic, that make it intentional, and that are going to benefit you. 

Holland: That's what Ask Your Work Wife is for. This is a podcast for ambitious women who want more out of corporate America. If that means you're quitting this month or next, if that means you already have, whatever it looks like, that's what we're here to help you do, that's — that's how we're gonna help.

Vanessa: And the way we're doing that is we're sourcing questions. Real questions from real people. So if you have a question, any question, all topics are on the table, we want to hear from you. 

Holland: We're talking resumes, interviews, negotiating, how to make the most out of your very limited time with your manager.

Vanessa: How not to be terrified by your manager.

Holland: It can be done, people!

Vanessa: It's possible. Go ahead and email us at help@askyourworkwife.com. 

Holland: Send us your questions about leveling up your career and we'll answer them on the podcast.

Vanessa: What we want you to take away from listening to any, or every episode of Ask Your Work Wife is... you're not afraid of leaving your job, even if it's a good one, because you know your next move is getting you closer to what you want. You know exactly where to spend your time in your current job, because you know exactly what you need to make your next move. There's no question about what's going to happen next in your career because you planned the hell out of your next three moves. It means that every move is a leap in income, status, responsibility, scope, et cetera. And it means every move brings you closer to what you want, and faster. 

Vanessa: We're going to introduce you to something called the Three Moves Framework, that we've been working on for a really long time, we're really excited about, and it's a total game changer for both of us.

Holland: That's why Vanessa and I are never going to have an "oh, shit" moment in our careers again, because we now know how to make serious career moves so that we can get more out of corporate America. And I can tell you it's working.

Vanessa: Let's fucking go.